Kaizoku Baka - The Idiot Pirate

Sarcasm in feminist academia

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 07:06:37 GMT

"[A]t least one Freud-influenced account of lesbianism explains it as a weaning trauma, whereby the clitoris is seen as a substitute for the lost nipple of the maternal breast. This has always seemed to me to be a particularly gripping piece of folly. First, if you want a nipple women have two real ones, so what exactly prompts the traumatized nipple-seeker to go for the genitals? Second, sucking a penis would surely provide a more accurate simulacrum of suckling; not only is it relatively the right size (if you are thinking of a nipple in a baby's mouth) but also, in the end, you get funny-tasting milk out of it. Of course the male anxiety which gives rise to such frank idiocy is above all concerned to defuse the threat of lesbian sexuality by replacing mature female erotic desire with an infantile desire for food."

--Tamsin Wilton, in Lesbian Studies (1995).

Sarcasm in lesbian feminist academia is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and not just because Freud does uncontrollable cartwheels in his grave (and I bust a rib from laughing.)

Quizzes aid procrastination? y/n

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:05:24 GMT

Which creature of the night are you? Your Result: Sorceror Control is the name of your game. You are a studied tactician and scientist and you seek a kingdom where things make sense, damn the morals, even if you have to create it. You are cold, calm and calculating.
Cthulu Spawn
Werewolf
Ghost
Vampire
Incubus/Succubus
Demon
Which creature of the night are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 3.33

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

In other news, this year's final nanowrimo count was a little short of 40,000, which I'm rather pleased with considering the added hurdles of November papers and a mutant flu virus. (Had I included the word counts of all the papers I wrote I would have passed the nanofinish line, but dishonesty is not the point of the exercise now is it?)

Back to final papers I go, I go.

I beg to differ

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:54:19 GMT

The past year has been a dry spell for foaming-at-the-mouth-rabid fandoms, at least since Harry Potter dug its own grave back in July 2007. However, I see a monsoon season fast approaching: Twilight, that horrible horrible tweenangst vampire series by Stephanie Meyers, has hit the spotlight. Once many months ago I read the first book in the series in a vague attempt to understand what had enchanted all (and I do mean all) my female cousins so. Instead, I got my first glimpse into a fandom that genuinely unsettles me.

Fans of Twilight remind me of the hordes of girls who claim they love Jane Austen, and yet have never read her books; that's what the movie adaptations are for, right? *grumble* While I have nothing against Austen - I'm quite fond of her actually - the plethora of Austen-derived romantic dribble in the last few years disgusts me. Somewhere along the way, Jane Austen was hijacked by a group of women (and male entrepreneurs, I'm sure) who turned her perceptive narrative of social life among the landed gentry into The Ultimate True Romance Liek Evar Omg. I'm sick of these six words: "Mr Darcy is the ideal man." Um, he's not. That's the point of Pride and Prejudice - Darcy is a stuck up snot who must overcome that to win the girl, and said girl is a judgmental shrew who must accept that she isn't always right. That's why the book is considered a classic - it looks at how two emotionally messed up misfits find love and (relative) understanding. Darcy does not equal Prince Charming. Replace 'Darcy' with 'Edward the Emo Vampire' and you have the current Twatlight craze.

Edward Cullen is NOT, I repeat, NOT Prince Charming. Why hundreds of fans beg to differ worries me.

It's my private theory that Twilight is the ultimate girlfriend litmus test: if the girl likes Twilight (or as many of the less amused call it, Twatlight) BACK THE HELL OFF SHE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL. It takes a certain type of personality to find Twilight's f-ed up relationship 'romantic', one with impossibly high expectations. Judging by several cases I know in real life, Twilight fans are hopeless romantics who want the world to match their exceedingly unrealistic expectations. They want an older, aggressive boyfriend, but he has to be virginal and restrained too. They want a guy who will sneak into their house under their parent's nose to sit by their bed all night and stare them to sleep (no kissing, just watching. Am I the only one who finds this creepy?) Um, hello, this made up relationship is neither healthy nor something to market as "perfect." In the first book - at least all I was able to read of it - Edward repeatedly tells Ella that he might kill her. And I'm supposed to consider this acknowledged murderer who has few regrets, suicidal habits (the driving, anyone?), and sneaks into a girl's room at night, a girl who I might add is 80-some years younger than him and who he constantly threatens to kill, I'm supposed to consider this guy Prince Charming?!?

You're out of your bloody minds.

(ETA: And don't even get me started on the whole 'Prince Charming' delusion. Just don't.)

NaNoWriMo '08

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Just a shout-out to everyone that I'm doing NNWM once again under the sn 'kaizokubaka'. Friend me if you want some good ol' fashioned word-wars! Or just a shoulder to cry on during the final week.

Oh, and for the first time this year's novel does NOT, I repeat, NOT have sci fi/fantasy influences! Um, at least if you don't count the haunting. And the clairvoyant. Hey, I try.

Research and Me: A Love Story

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:54:10 GMT

Research Essay No. 1, numerical breakdown:

-Researching, reading background material, harnessing quotes: 43 hours

-Outlining: 4 hours

-Paper writing: 11 hours

-Editing and revising: 2 hours

-Knowing that the paper worth 50% of your grade will get a gold star: PRICELESS

I had more fun writing this sucker than should be legally possible.

Another one bites the dust

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 22:50:43 GMT

Years and years ago I spent the summer in Oxford on academic exchange. Many remarkable things happened, mostly the type that beget fond memories of those glorious salad days, but there was one small dark spot: my Swiss watch, my faithful companion through half a lifetime of childish misadventure, died a most undignified death. To be more specific, one of the numbers disengaged from the face and cleverly worked itself into the clockwork, and by the time emergency operations commenced the cogs had chewed themselves beyond saving. I mourned that watch for months.

Flash forward to now. Studying abroad in England, everything going spiffy, blabbity blah bla. Lo and behold, I wake up one morning to discover my watch has up and died. Not such a remarkable occurrence were it any other watch. This baby had chutzpah. Its history speaks to its unbreakable stamina. I found it under a snowbank while hiking at 11,000 ft in early spring, where it had been buried since at least October and kept perfect time. This same watch fell twelve feet to solid concrete without blinking, went through the washing machine twice, and survived a liberal dosing of ill younger brother vomit. That is one muthernucking tough watch. Not the type you'd expect to die with its boots off in bed, per se.

RIP Doc Holliday watch. Your reliability and sheer tenacity will be missed.

Apparently I should leave my watch at home next time I visit England and avoid further fatalities.

The sun is so overrated

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:14:13 GMT

Damn you chronic insomnia, you're suppose to *disappear* during vacation, not get worse!

In other news, I'm starting to get a really sexy biker's tan, and by sexy I mean I look like some corpse with Malibu Beach Barbie arms tacked on at T-shirt level. Should I happen to appear in a bathing suit this summer I guarantee instant entertainment for anyone in visual proximity.

Back to staring at my ceiling in futile anticipation of sleep. *sigh*

Looking out my window today

Tue, 13 May 2008 12:49:07 GMT

(For some reason the big poofy flakes aren't showing up, but I think you get the idea.)

I love where I live.

Oh boy!

Fri, 09 May 2008 08:40:19 GMT

Morbid curiosity inspired me to make a page count of all the papers I wrote this semester. Total tally? Just short of....... drumroll please...... 200 f*ing pages. (191 being damn well close enough.) That's two hundred pages of full blown research packed papers, my friends, not a breezy page of creativity in there. I can't decide if I should be thrilled or appalled.

Small wonder my brain's fried.

(200 pages of creative writing isn't all that difficult to pull off, even in under a month if you're caffeinated enough, but 200 pages of properly backed research papers is a first for me.)

And now I plan to renew my life's meaning by reading all of Watership Down in the fabulously gluttonous reading binge I've been denying myself for the past three-and-a-half months. Followed possibly by some Tamora Pierce, that small stack of Georgette Heyer I've been eyeballing, obscene quantities of Malory, as much E. M. Forster as the library has in, and a quick visit with Geoffrey of Monmouth for shits and giggles. Helloooo summer vacation! ~<3

No better way to procrastinate

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:36:46 GMT

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Gawd, I love it when I get results I like. ; )

Not that I'm complaining, but...

Thu, 08 May 2008 19:43:28 GMT

My dear MSWord, I can forgive you for not knowing nomenclature like "heteroglossia," "postcolonialism," and "écriture féminine," but lacking the word "hijinks" in your processor is simply ridiculous - particularly considering that I can right-click 'look up in dictionary' and get a definition.

In other news, last day of finals is coming up. Wishing best of luck to all graduating seniors! You rock!

(Added a few hours later: MSWord doesn't recognize animality either. Whee.)

Manga FYI

Thu, 01 May 2008 23:45:33 GMT

Recent manga news for the similarly obsessed:

-Pet Shop of Horrors: Tokyo, the sequel to the original PSoH, was just released by Tokyopop. If you were a fan of the original series you'll start frothing at the mouth when you read this (and if you haven't read the original, FIX IT!! If horror, great art, and very intelligent stories make you giddy, you will *adore* PSoH!)

-Emma and Tramps Like Us have both concluded their English runs, with mixed results. Emma is strong up to the end, though I wish it could have continued a little longer given how intriguing I found its conclusion. Tramps, on the other hand, suffered a very weak final volume, but considering 1-13 were all enjoyable I'm willing to forgive.

-One of my favorite series, Antique Bakery by Fumi Yoshinaga, is going out of print! If you don't own this gem, pick up a copy before it's too late! WTH?! It was only released in 2005, and with scratch-and-sniff covers no less... What a loss.

-On the other hand, Fumi Yoshinaga's crowning yaoi series, Ichigenme, has finally been given a US release. If yaoi with characters and plot is your thing and you don't mind spending $15 a volume (though I believe Amazon has it for much less), I cannot recommend this enough.

-For those of you who are shoujo fans, I Hate You More Than Anyone! shows promise. That said, I've only read the first volume, so no guarantees.

Can Edwardians have fangirls?

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 06:44:33 GMT

Signs you may be an E.M. Forster fangirl: all you want for your birthday is a 1905 Venice & Southern Italy Baedeker. =)

(May I take this opportunity to say God bless the internets and ebay. That is all.)

Indeed

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 23:45:02 GMT

Find Out Which Disney Girl You Are!
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Violet

She's quiet, reserved, and insecure, Violet is definitely out of place amongst her super powered family. However, much like you, she just needs to step out of herself and trust that she's a truly awesome person, and that people really do like her! You don't need super powers to be truly incredible!

Being able to turn invisible actually does sound rather appealing. Yay?

exhale

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:46:22 GMT

My brother came home today with the news that someone had died at my old high school. Unsettling to know by itself (there were a couple of botched suicide attempts and a broken leg when I went there, but I don't think anyone's ever died in the building before), but I just found out that that someone was my best-friend-growing-up's little brother. He was a sophomore and had a weak heart.

Like my own brother, he was four years younger and her only sibling. I can't begin to imagine what she's going through.

Strawberry Eggs Drinking Game

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:44:48 GMT

For the more perverted of you, as promised, an I My Me Strawberry Eggs drinking game.

::I My Me Strawberry Eggs Drinking Game::

**Creator’s Note** - Watch and drink responsibly - that way no one ends up at the hospital with acute alcohol blood poisoning. (If someone does anyway, blame it on Strawberry Eggs and its wonderfully cheezy creators.)

“1” = 1 sip of your drink
"buruma"= lower portion of the Japanese schoolgirl's PE outfit, fairly akin to spandex underpants. Known as "spankies" to some female track and fielders in the US (ah the memories...)

-1 with every “dating game” intro to the opening (picture! picture! picture! sitcom music!)

-1 and yell “panties!” for every panty shot (gratuitously ecchi buruma count)

2 if pantyshot-ed girl is actually of legal age
3 if pantyshot-ed girl is really a guy (don’t you love this series?)
2 if the girl might as well not be wearing anything at all thanks to lines drawn

-1 every time the landlady uses a gun or a motorcycle

2 if both are used at the same time
3 and cheer if the motorcycle does something REALLY cool!

-1 for every “ai isshin” (“love is all”)

-1 for every easily misconstrued action between Hibiki-sensei and Fuko

2 if it’s dangerously close to first base
3 when Hibiki-sensei gets groped

-1 for every boob, butt, or crotch close up

-1 every time Hibiki-sensei speaks in a male voice while still in female guise (internal dialogue/thoughts do not count)

-1 every time the landlady saves someone’s ass

-1 whenever Akira Fukae is an absolute DUMBASS (if you’re feelings toward him are like mine, shout “dumbass” whenever you want to slap him)

-1 and shout “say cheese!” whenever a picture gets taken

-2 when Hibiki-sense appears in male form with his bra still on

3 if he seems to be striking an uber-femme pose

-2 for every nude scene, male or female

-2 every time Hibiki-sensei tries on a new outfit (buruma, kimono, swimsuit, bra, etc)

3 if he gets excited over it

Aaaaaannd~~ if you want to get really wasted:

-1 whenever Fuko acts like she has a crush on Hibiki-sensei (thinking about it, blushing)

-1 whenever you feel dirty knowing that the girls in this show are 14 or younger (bra! panties! see-through shirt! disturbing posing! perverts taking pictures!)

-Chug at the landlady's real identity - you'll need it.

Enjoy!

Perfectionists Anonymous

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:59:28 GMT

Dear Kaizokubaka,

After six years of intense academics it's entirely understandable that you're obsessed with maintaining the same high criteria by transposing your past college's standards onto those of Big State University, but getting upset over a 95% on a midterm when you were aiming for 100 is just ABSURD. It no longer matters that you forgot to mention the Populists in your essay; the exam is over. Finished. With an A. In the perpetual GPA pissing contest that still is more than enough to get you into grad school.

So stop stressing and start studying for the next midterm unless you, god forbid, want to get a B.

Love,
Kaizokubaka

Happy 2008!

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:38:25 GMT

Now that 2007 is out of my system, I have a good feeling that sunshine's finally on the way.

Hope winter break is going well for everyone out there! I got trapped in the mountains last week when a blizzard shut down anything with pavement and a yellow line, and finally exceeded my bookshelf capacity (yet again) but otherwise things have been very monotonous.

Nerd report for 2007
-Total books read: 76
-Total manga read: lost track around 50
-New fandoms discovered: 3
-Old fandoms revived: 2 (Harry Potter and Star Trek/ST: Voyager)
-NaNoWriMo: finished

Single 2008 New Year's resolution: finish the Excavation manuscript.

Here's wishing everyone a fantabulous 2008! Cheers!

Pondering life (and death)

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 06:32:19 GMT

My last surviving grandparent finally passed away on Sunday. It's been clear for months that her death was imminent, but of course that never completely erases the hurt and confusion, even though she hasn't really been here for years. (I hope it isn't crass to note that her death doesn't feel nearly as wrenching as when my other grandmother passed away unexpectedly last year. Knowing death is standing only a few heartbeats away somehow lessens the blow, I think...)

Now for a half-hearted push to finish NaNoWriMo...

Random musings

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:02:30 GMT

*NaNoWriMo is going along nicely, though once I'm done the manuscript is going to be "lop't and chop'd" as Jane Austen once said for extraneous verbiage. Either that or I'm going to burn it. I suspect I was more eloquent in middle school.

*After three months of searching I discovered a public restroom at CU that doesn't make me want to convert to mysophobia. (Psst, it's in the basement of Norlin.)

*A retrospective tangent to the previous musing: Colgate is gloriously sterile.

*While searching through my computer's hard drive for a character sketch, I stumbled upon a folder containing several dozen fics and stories I'd written my sophomore year of high school, including one entitled "Fushigi Yugi: The Musical!!!!!"

Yes. Be terrified. Popular songs with the lyrics rewritten to form a story about the Fushigi Yugi cast.

Most of it is hilarious for all the wrong reasons: Tasuki singing Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot", Hotohori and Nuriko dueting on Ricky Springfield's newly retitled "Tama's Girl", and, dear God, even "Roxanne" (retitled "Yui") as sung by Nakago and Suboshi. *insert mortified laughter here*

So, at the risk of personal humiliation, I've decided to post one of the choicer songs for your viewing pleasure: "Food, Miaka's Food", to the tune of "Food Glorious Food" from the musical Oliver!. Enjoy!

Character Key:
M – Miaka
Ta – Tamahome
Ts – Tasuki
C – Chichiri
N – Nuriko
H – Hotohori
Chi – Chiriko
Mts – Mitsukake

M: Is takeout worth the waiting for
If it comes at 8:04?
I’m too hungry to wait, though,
Wait, I know the way to go!
I’ll prepare the bill of fare
A feast that just cannot compare!
There is not a pie, not a roast I can’t make,
I can’t dice, I can’t stir, I can’t bake in a cake,
Oh there’s nothing to stop me from getting my fill
So just close your eyes and ima~gine…

C: Food, Miaka’s food~
M: *interrupts* Hot sausage and mustard!
Ts: *backs away* I’m not in the mood…
M: *grabs his arm and pouts* Cold ice cream and custard!
N: Wet, mushy, and undercooked
No, no I won’t eat some!
I know what it always brings:
Ta/Ts/N: In-di-gestion!

C: Food, Miaka’s food~
I’m anxious to try it!
Ta: Three meals a day?
I think I’ll go on a diet…

M: Just picture a great big steak!
Fried, roasted, (Ts: or charred!)
M: Oh food!
N: Overcooked food!
Ta: Poisonous food!
C/Ta/N: Miaka’s food!

Ts: Food, Miaka’s food!
What is there more frightening?
Gulped, swallowed, or chewed~
Still hits you like lightning.
M: What is it I dream about?
What brings on a sigh?
Piled peaches and cream about
Six feet high!

(Ta: Hey, that does sound good… *hit by N* Ow!)

C: Food, Miaka’s food!
M: Eat right through the menu!
N: Slip it to the dog
Quietly and then you-
Ts: Get captured while sneaking out
Lead back to the table-
Then food!
N: Once again food!
Ta: Mind-numbing food!
Ts/Ta/N: Miaka’s food!

C: Food, Miaka’s food!
Ta/Ts/N: We know what it looks like-
Ta: Burned!
N: Underdone!
Ts: Crude!
H: I care what the cook’s like… (*hit by N* Ow!)
Ta/Ts/N: Just thinking of eating that
Our senses go reeling
Ts: I don’t feel much like having that
Ta/Ts/N: Gut-sick feeling!

C: Food, Miaka’s food!
What wouldn’t we give for
Something that’s not hers
Ta/Ts/N: That’s all that we live for!
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On food,
Ch: Magical food,
Mts: Poisonous food,
Ts: Terrifying food,
N: Gut wrenching food,
Ta: Mind-churning food,
All: Miaka’s foooood!

Happy NNWM halfway point!

Dream House

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:42:44 GMT

Merciful Cthulhu, if houses like this really existed I would gladly blackmarket a limb or three to cover the cost.

Your home is a

Daylight Wizard's Stronghold

Your kitchen is manned by a team of Keebler Drow Elves. There's a pantry with emergency backup caffeinated beverages. You also have some breakfast cereals in there, but you haven't had breakfast since last Spring. Your master bedroom is decorated to look like the treetop village of the Galadhrim. Your study has every fantasy novel ever written, including multiple editions of the Silmarillion and advance copies of Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. One of your garages contains a life-sized X-Wing fighter, and KITT. (KITT was a gift from a well-meaning uncle.)

Your home also includes a roost for griffons. You've never actually seen a griffon, but you keep the roost ready anyway. Your guests enjoy your home theater with hi-def plasma screen TV, and the thrones you watch it from. Outside is the moat that protects your home from goblin invaders and extended family.

And, you have a pet -- a unicorn named "Shadowhooves".

Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Build YOUR Dream Home!

I iz bad student =P

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 06:06:11 GMT

Self-imposed October Read-a-Thon was a success!!! I completed 10 full-blooded (300+ page) novels in less than a month, which is quite the feat considering that I'm a rather slow reader in spite of how many books I consume on average.

How was I able to accomplish this while juggling 18 credits and slogging through midterms? Easy. I dropped one of my classes. It was headed toward being dropped anyway, especially since every period had me fantasizing about various methods by which I could viciously murder my classmates. Don't believe me? Ask to see my notebook - the margins are devoutly filled with carefully-rendered stick figures committing various acts of carnage, usually armed with the efficient stabbity-stab pen or the more impressive brain-bludgeon desk (gratuitously bloody special-effects scribbles optional).

Aside: If you had a class with these cretins you would want to kill them too. I'm not mentally unstable, just intolerant of rampant stupidity.

Aaahhhh~~ I feel so much better now.

Lengthly book list

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:07:37 GMT

Random meme flitched from truepenny

These are the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users (as of today). As usual, bold what you have read, italicize what you started but couldn't finish, and strike through what you couldn't stand. The numbers after each one are the number of LT users who used the tag of that book.

(Like a true dork I've added <3s to mark my favorites.)

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (149) (Working on it, really!)
Anna Karenina (132)
Crime and Punishment (121)
Catch-22 (117)
One Hundred Years of Solitude (115)
~~Wuthering Heights~~ (110)
The Silmarillion (104)
Life of Pi : a novel (94)
The Name of the Rose (91)
Don Quixote (91)
Moby Dick (86)
~~Ulysses~~ (84)
Madame Bovary (83) <3
The Odyssey (83)
Pride and Prejudice (83) <3
Jane Eyre (80)
A Tale of Two Cities (80)
The Brothers Karamazov (80)
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies (79)
War and Peace (78)
Vanity Fair (74)
The Time Traveler's Wife (73)
The Iliad (73)
Emma (73)
The Blind Assassin (73)
The Kite Runner (71)
Mrs. Dalloway (70)
Great Expectations(70)
American Gods (68)
A heartbreaking work of staggering genius (67)
Atlas Shrugged (67)
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books (66)
~~Memoirs of a Geisha~~ (66)
Middlesex (66)
Quicksilver (66)
Wicked : The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (65)
The Canterbury Tales (64)
~~The Historian : a novel~~ (63)
A portrait of the artist as a young man (63)
Love in the time of cholera (62)
Brave New World (61)
The Fountainhead (61)
Foucault's Pendulum (61)
Middlemarch (61)
Frankenstein (59) <3
The Count of Monte Cristo (59)
Dracula (59) <3
A Clockwork Orange (59)
Anansi Boys (58)
The Once and Future King (57)
The Grapes of Wrath (57)
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel (57)
1984 (57)
Angels & Demons (56)
The Inferno (56)
The Satanic Verses (55) Midnight's Children was enough Rushdie to last me the next decade, thank you
Sense and Sensibility (55) <3
The Picture of Dorian Gray (55) <3
Mansfield Park (55) <3
One flew over the cuckoo's nest (54)
To the Lighthouse (54)
Tess of the D'Urbervilles (54)
~~Oliver Twist~~ (54) Pardon me while I pull out my in-flight vomit bag. Dickens, Dickins, how I loathe thee, let me count the ways...
Gulliver's Travels (53)
Les Misérables (53)
The Corrections (53)
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (52)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (52)
Dune (51)
The Prince (51)
The Sound and the Fury (51)
Angela's Ashes : a memoir (51)
The god of small things (51)
A people's history of the United States : 1492-present (51)
Cryptonomicon (50)
Neverwhere (50) <3
A Confederacy of Dunces (50)
A short history of nearly everything (50)
~~Dubliners~~ (50)
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (49) <3
Beloved (49)
Slaughterhouse-Five (49) <3
The Scarlet Letter (48)
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation (48)
The Mists of Avalon (47) About halfway through I lost my copy of the book and never got around to picking it up again
Oryx and Crake : a novel (47)
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed (47)
Cloud Atlas (47)
The Confusion (46)
Lolita (46)
Persuasion (46)
Northanger Abbey (46)
The Catcher in the Rye (46)
On the Road (46)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (45)
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything (45)
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance : an inquiry into values (45)
The Aeneid (45)
Watership Down (44)
Gravity's Rainbow (44)
The Hobbit (44) Memorized nearly verbatim <3 <3
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences (44)
White Teeth (44)
Treasure Island (44)
David Copperfield (44)
The Three Musketeers (44) <3

Several of these are on my to read/finish list, which I'll post for future self reference:
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (started)
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment (started)
Jane Eyre (You'd think I would have read this already...)
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel
Vanity Fair
Middlesex
Middlemarch
The Count of Monte Cristo (one of the few Dumas I've yet to read)
Lolita
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (I have a copy, but not the time)

Nan Desu Kan 2007 Report

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:38:33 GMT

Since the convention was ten thousand kinds of wonderful, it will require a long lj cut for proper telling!!

FRIDAY

My escape to the convention was delayed by classes until 3, a doctor’s appointment until 5:30, and then last-minute costume construction (the making of my lolcat “I CAN HAS CHEEZBRGR?” shirt, which was triggered by a flash of inspiration during Lit Analysis earlier in the day.) My brother – who was a zombie from Resident Evil, knife through the head and all – and I finally arrived at the con around 8 pm.

Registration was ridiculously easy. Since everyone who had preregistered showed up either Friday or Saturday morning there was noooobody in line and all my brother and I had to do was saunter up to the table and pick up our badges which took all of 10 seconds. Now official, we decided to wander about and get our bearings while waiting for our room provider to get out of orchestra rehearsal. It was my first time at the new location since NDK switched hotels and although the new set up was all well and good, the last convention center certainly had its pluses – for one thing the old convention had its own wing all to itself, whereas this one was spread all over the bottom two floors with rooms located in the weirdest places. I wasn’t very partial to the new panel and viewing rooms, which were far too small for the number of people attending the convention and set up in a rather unfortunate way that forced you to stumble over a couple dozen people to enter or exit at any given time (an uncomfortable and dangerous necessity that was even more awkward if you tried doing it while trying to silence your cell phone as it did its best to further irritate the people you were accidentally stepping on.) We also visited the artist’s room which was disappointing – everything was CG, drawn and colored on a computer, and there were no amusing or even inspired fanworks. Fortunately, this and the dealers room were the only things that had gone downhill since my last visit. Everything else was *vastly* improved!

Around 9 pm I finally got in contact with my hotel room provider, Alysa, a friend of mine from high school. Although it was great to see her again, I was less than thrilled with the room, which was on the 10th floor (here I should note that all but one of the elevators on that tower of the hotel were out of order, which meant you waited in line for 15 minutes or – you guessed it – climbed ten floors of stairs, not the smartest thing I’ve done since klutz + stairs + flip-flops and a tail = near-death experience.) Furthermore, I’d been under the impression there would only be four of us – instead it was closer to ten (no, this is not legal, nor recommended). Resigned to sleeping in the corner with a strategically placed coffee table to keep people from stepping on me, I dropped off the change of clothes and hygiene items I was carrying (yay con hygiene!) and bid adieu to my brother who was frothing at the mouth to get to the video gaming room.

Thus I found myself wandering around the con by myself, which was completely new and alien.

Fortunately my unexpected feeling of abandonment didn’t last long since NDK 07 had the most wonderful anime playing in their viewing rooms! I’d been drifting for less than 15 minutes when I found a room that was showing Dragon Half to sixty-odd hysterical otaku. (If you haven’t seen Dragon Half, fix that right now and buy the series. It’s only two episodes long, but oh those two episodes are classic.) This was followed by a great panel called “Old Time Anime” – nearly squealing middle- and high-schooler-free! – that reminisced about all the awesome old shows from Speed Racer to Macross 7 that were either pivotal in the formation of the anime industry (*cough* Cutie Honey *cough*) or never released on this side of the Pacific. The panel was great and set the tone for the rest of the convention: interesting, great speaker, startlingly well-informed, and at least 120 people crammed into a 60-person occupancy room.

The panel ended at 11:30. I couldn’t get in contact with anyone so I contented myself with drifting between viewing rooms and the wonderful writer’s sleepover (which ended right after I got there, sadness!) There were some pretty fantastic things being shown – one of the second floor viewing rooms was holding the annual “Bishounen Party” featuring random trivia games and series like Weiss Kreuz, Kyou Kara Mao, and Mirage of Blaze. I was in the mood for something I haven’t seen a billion-and-a-half times before, so I kept wandering and through sheer luck stumbled upon the secret super-small LIVE ACTION viewing room! I cannot express the awesomeness of this, since it’s something I love but would never expect from an anime convention. At this point it was 1 in the morning and most of the con-goers were at the rave in the main event room. Even though I was getting sleepy I had the greatest time making friends with the four other people in the room and absolutely laughing my ass off at some of the stuff we watched, including the Nana live action movie (LOVE! Love I say! I now have to go back and re-read the manga because the movie *is* the series brought to life, only 10 times more awesome because bald lawyers, bassists with pierced lips, clueless puppy-girls, and creepily stick-thin goths rock my world even more when played by actors who seem to be accurate down to the last eyelash!), some tv series called “Mountain Woman, Wall Woman” (two friends: one super busty, the other… well, ‘wall’ is a rather apt if cruel description), and “My Boss, My Hero” (a 27 year-old yakuza member who is illiterate and incapable of simple addition can’t inherit the clan unless he goes back to high school) which was so amazing and hilarious I ended up tracking it down on eBay (the pudding! THE PUDDING! NOOOOOO! / and / *yakuza demon death-glare at the teacher* Don’t call on me or I’LL KILL YOU!! *teacher passes out in fear-induced coma*) Whee~

Somewhere around 4 in the morning it occurred to me that I probably should sleep at some point, so I reluctantly headed back to the room. Luck was with at me, though, because in the lobby I ran into a group of friends from high school who let me play card games with them for another hour and then sleep on the floor in their room, which was infinitely more comfortable and stumbling-teenager-free (although rather cold, but that was easily fixed with a blanket… even if I accidentally molested the person using the other half in the process… sorry.)

SATURDAY

Another upside to the new location: there’s a buffet and a Starbucks in the hotel so you can eat without leaving the building! Schadenfreude figured prominently in my morning because I, the prereg who got my pass in less than 10 seconds the previous night, got to walk by the registration line several times and marvel that what took me mere moments was an hour-long patience test for the 200+ con-goers in line. Mwahahaha.

In the morning I got to watch Captain Herlock (Leiji Matsumoto, how I adore you and your badass space pirate who is so awesome even other pirates piss themselves when they hear his name), attend a wonderful writer’s workshop, and browse through the dealers room.

The dealers room at Neko-con, the convention I went to freshman year at Colgate, must have spoiled me horribly, because the NDK one seemed even more small and miserly than ever. I suppose its unlimited wealth of plastic Naruto/random hot girl figurines, English-release manga and DVDs, and clever t-shirts fulfilled the needs of the middle- and high-schooler crowd that made up most of the con-goers, but if you wanted anything more than that – or anything that wasn’t Naruto/Negima/Bleach – you needed to sacrifice a limb to the con gods and even then results weren’t guaranteed. Case and point: I went to NDK with a list of three things I wanted:

1 – Emma manga volume 5, which was released on the 12th ($8.99)
2 – Any nice Japanese-language shoujo series for practice reading (under $10)
3 – A Blue Hearts CD (whatever was left – the plan was to hold off buying the Emma manga
if the CD was more than $20)

Bet you can guess which one I found within two minutes (that would be the Emma manga.) At the Neko-con dealers room #2 would’ve been a piece of cake and #3 would’ve been highly likely. Hell, even at the last NDK I went to (2004… oi, I’ve been in this fandom too long) both #2 and #3 had a fair chance. Not so this year. Observe my disappointment.

That said, Emma 5 was fantastic enough to make up for everything else.

Continuing on…

The AMV competition was at 1, and per tradition I got in line at 12 (good thing too!) Oh my fricking GOD it has changed!!! In 2004 all but two of the AMVs sucked beyond description and sitting through the whole thing was scarily akin to the application of thumbscrews. The only part that dragged this year was the action category, synonymous with FFVII:AC (ugh, no more Final Fantasy, I beg of every AMV editor out there, please!! *dies*) Everything else was SUPERB, and I now have some new favorites that I can’t recommend enough (yay for links):

Winner (and rightly so): Does L Creep You Out? for Death Note
This is far too twisted to summarize – just watch it and writhe in agony/laughter.

Crazy-amazing editing job: Magic Pad

My personal favorites:
Code Monkey – Black Heaven (I’ve never seen the series, but it was refreshingly innovative)

Restless – Loveless (ooh, shiny!pretty!shiny)

All For The Best – Excel Saga, Love Hina, and Evangelion (wrong and twisted seems to be a theme this year…)

Better Than Me – Saikano (wrenching if you’ve seen the series but chock fulla spoilers, so if you haven’t finished SaiKano don’t watch)

This Time – Full Metal Panic (this won for drama - once again, spoilers)

Nothing really to report about the afternoon/evening – wandered around, met with people, laughed at Spike Spencer’s hilarious “What Happens At The Con Stays At The Con” talk (Spencer is one of the few English voice actors who’s actually good - credits include Shinji from Eva, Omi from Weiss, and Hanataro from Bleach), and captured my brother long enough to have a picture drawn with him. He got second in the Super Smash Brothers tournament and was feeling rather put out, poor bastard. This is the third year in a row he’s missed the coveted Golden Joystick Trophy by just one, and from what I understand it's the same guy who always beats him.

At some point I bought a cheeseburger from the hotel buffet, which prompted a lot of picture taking as I walked through the halls because “omg lolcat haz cheezbrgr!! lol!”

The counting contest was horrendous for the first time in the history of NDK. For those of you unfortunate enough not to have experienced the glory of the counting contest yourself, it involves a piece of paper, a pencil, and some horrid anime cliché which you try your damnedest to count the appearances of. Past years have included counting ninjas, breast jiggles, panty shots, catgirls, high-pressure bleeding, and fireballs, usually with multiple invokings of the “rule of twenty” (if more than 20 appear on the screen at one, just count them as 20.) This year the things we were supposed to count appeared maaaaybe 30 times in 2 episodes, a miserable comparison to last time’s 800-some.

At 11 pm there was a yaoi panel scheduled and I decided to attend, partially out of interest of what they would discuss (really – how to write it? why people like it? I had no clue) and partially out of curiosity of who would be there (I was expecting teen girls squealing about how “Sephiroth is like the HOTTEST bishi evah!! he should totally be paired with Sesshomaru from Inuyasha because they would look sooooo hawt together<3 <3<3 here check out my fanart of that, it’s rated NC-17 teehee <3 <3” – ugh, I cringe just typing that.) Oddly enough, this decision was one of the best I made all con. Upon arriving at the room, I was shocked to find several things: 1) there must have been 80 people squeezed into a space meant for 25 (okay, by this point in the con this wasn’t all that surprising), 2) almost everyone was over 18 – no squealing underage fangirls, 3) the person moderating was a fanfiction writer who actually wanted to *discuss* yaoi rather than spew about how glorious it is. Needless to say, a very interesting, funny, and thought-provoking (I never thought I’d use those words referring to yaoi) panel followed.

How funny is it that the other panel being held at 11 was "How To Talk To Girls"... there's some cruel irony there.

The rest of the night can be boiled down to three things: Gender-Bender Party in viewing room 3 featuring I My Me Strawberry Eggs (rewatching this prompted the writing of a drinking game that I may post at some point), Ranma ½, Kashimashi (I'll be buying this series once I get my next paycheck simply because it seems like a blast to make fun of), Princess Princess, etc; a masquerade featuring horrible techno and hypnotic sparkly lights; and sleep.

SUNDAY

The dealers room opened right after I woke so I tried it a second time and my karma must have been in the right place because while shuffling through a bargain bin in the back of a very crowded booth I came across volumes 1 and 2 of Yun Kouga’s (of Earthian and Loveless fame) Ren-Ai for $2 a piece, thus happily fulfilling #2 of my con wishlist: good Japanese manga. I also picked up a few requested items for friends who couldn’t make the con (mostly Pocky and pins) and decided to spend the remainder of my money originally intended for the Blue Hearts CD on my craving for 80s anime – helloooo Kimagure Orange Road <3 <3.

Found out there was a Karaoke Battle of the Bands on Friday that was supposedly amazingly awesome, going so far as "*point* YOU are Team The Sex Pistols Punk Rockers, and YOU *point* are Team Chippendale Dancers!” – I’ll have to make a point of going to that next year.

I went to three other panels: an arts-and-crafts workshop, a historical lecture on Okinawa in WWII, and GLBT characters in anime (the presenter for that one was ill prepared and the audience knew more than he did so I left after only a few minutes).

My brother and I went to the AMV winners showing at noon. Shortly thereafter we had to go home rather abruptly because my stomach, which had been testy all weekend, went haywire after I stupidly ate a croissant on an empty stomach (er, for those of you out of the loop, the doctor’s appointment on Friday was because I just may be allergic to wheat. Thank you Parental Unit^1’s genetics.)

I then proceeded to have the worst school week in recorded history, but that’s another story that needn’t be told.

And now, PICTURES!!!

The picture I captured my brother for. The artist had way too much fun sketching David's knife.
Sadly, since I absolutely suck at taking pictures, this is the only picture of both of us in costume.

Favorite Fruits Basket character!! I love the jacket!

This Peach was fantastic - she was in the gaming room every time I went by and no doubt had all the SSBM fans worshipping her. There was also a Luigi and Zelda so great they elude praise, but I didn't have my camera with me when I saw them. Maybe somewhere online? *will search later*

The only pic I have of me... basically I wanted to see how David's knife + lolcat looked and rather than search for a mirror we ingeniously employed my digital camera.

If the picture above this were a real lolcat - lolzombiecat!!

ONE PIECE!!!!!! The Sanji has a curly eyebrow too. ^_^
In the background you can see the artists alley, which was wonderful.

I kept running into these Ranmas throughout the con and finally worked up the courage to ask for a picture. They really were cute!

t3h m3ch4 will 0wnzr j00

Awesome, no? This Totoro had to leave her costume outside the dealers room because it was "too big"... if you ask me it was because the room was too small...

I thought it was cute.

And there you have every single picture I took during the convention. =P

Oh, and the government held my vehicle hostage on Tuesday until I paid them $85 – here’s the kicker – IN CASH ONLY… is it just me or is there something vaguely evil-syndicate about that? Oh well, not like I could fight it. *goes to cry over empty piggy bank*

Today's wtf moment

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 04:43:43 GMT

Ligers are REAL.

This I did not know.

*still experiencing dubious awe*